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April 25 2017

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Bright Electric - 2017

New story for Normal Magazine.

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These are the Myard DELUXE Imitated Human Skull Logs for use in natural gas or liquid propane fireplaces/pits.  Each skull is made from heat-tolerant ceramic and lava granules, layered over a steel structure.

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Vita Sidorkina, by David Bellemere

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Been looking at this for a while, and something about it seemed off.  Something else is going on here, behind the scenes.  And it hit me.


Look at where the floor is.  Her legs, in order to reach it, must be Liefeldian in length!  And then the obvious solution presented itself.


She’s standing on a dog!

No wonder this man is in here crying. She is a monster.

Far be it from me to argue with someone with nineteen years and counting of artistic experience, but that is exactly what I’m going to do, right now! Watch me! 


Yes, examination of that background and the marks on the floor of the shed lead me to the conclusion that there’s a great big hill of sand for her to be standing on. Thus obviously the reason he’s crying is that he’s just finished sweeping and now she’s letting all the sand in. As someone who spent many years at a summer camp with a sandy bank by the lake, and who was often made to sweep his own bunk, I can assure you that this is an unforgivable offense. Sand is the worst and there is always more of it. 

I will give you that there definitely appears to be sand.  However, it’s a clearly not a solid fixture of sand which would support the weight of an adult human woman.  



now he can’t even close the door

fuck you, lady

This is the reason I am on tumblr

#someone photoshop Anakin’s face on the guy



problem solved 

Y’all I came on tumblr for this kind of shit I’m so impressed

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